


My Patience Dies Faster Than My Phone Battery

by futuretrapqueen



Category: Football RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-18
Updated: 2015-08-18
Packaged: 2018-04-15 11:53:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4605759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/futuretrapqueen/pseuds/futuretrapqueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cristiano wants to seduce Leo, but this is Leo we're talking about so ...</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Patience Dies Faster Than My Phone Battery

**Author's Note:**

> A little more explicit than I usually write but I hope you enjoy nonetheless :)

Cristiano was in the mood.

Like, very much in the mood.

Like he was in a ready-to-rut-against-the-couch-until-he-came-because-Leo-was-oblivious-to-his-needs kind of mood. He wanted to fuck and he wanted to fuck very badly, but he also wanted to seduce and tease.

The only problem was Leo.

He never clued in to when Cristiano was horny - unless Cristiano stripped naked in front of him and tackled him to the floor - and it frustrated the older man to no end.

Cristiano, god bless him, had a sliver of faith in his forever adorable lover and hoped that one day Leo would figure his shit out.

He was hoping today would be that day.

Let's be real, he fucking _prayed_ today would be _that day_.

But this is Leo we're talking about.

Wishful, wishful thinking.

~

Cristiano was straddling Leo's lap, sucking on a tootsie pop, while the younger man read through some game sheets from his teams last match.

"Mmmm cherry flavoured, you want a lick?"

"Hmmm? Oh no thank you baby." Leo replied distractedly.

"You sure?"

Cristiano was making obscene sucking noises, none of which Leo was responding to.

"Yes, baby I'm sure."

"It tastes really good, Leo."

Cristiano curled his tongue around the top of the lollipop, sucking it slowly into his mouth.

"Yeah?"

"Mhmmm not as good as you taste though."

And that. That made Leo pay attention. He looked up from his game sheets and watched Cristiano suck the entire lollipop down.

"You - your tongue is all red."

"Is it? Do you like my tongue, Leo?"

"Oh, um. Sure. I mean I guess."

"You like the things I do with my tongue, don't you?" Cristiano asked licking the side of the lollipop, causing a thread of saliva to dangle from his bottom lip.

Leo raised his hand and wiped away the mess before cupping Cristiano's face and leaning forward and _yes_ Cristiano thought he's _finally clued in_ but then,

"Should you really be eating that?"

 _You've got to be fucking kidding me_ Cristiano thought.

"What."

"You have a game tomorrow. Should you really be eating that. It's pure sugar."

"Leo, seriously?"

The younger man just shrugged. "I'm just looking out for you, baby."

And _oh my God_  if murder wasn't illegal Cristiano was pretty sure he would have snuffed Leo out by now.

Cristiano tried his best to not let Leo deter him from his plan. He leaned back and placed the lollipop on the coffee table, turned back towards his lover and ran his hands up down his chest.

Leo shivered and bit his lip, locking eyes with Cristiano.

"Cris?"

"Mmmm you look so sexy when you do that."

Leo gripped Cristiano's hips and shifted forward.

"No, Cris I -"

"Fuck baby, it drives me crazy when you look at me like that."

 _Look at him like what?_ Leo wondered. He pushed forward until his torso was flushed with Cristiano's and ran his hands up and down his lovers sides.

"Baby listen I need -"

"You need what baby? Need me to suck that big cock?"

Leo stared at Cristiano wide-eyed.

"What? Cris no, can you just get -"

"Get down on my knees and deep throat that cock? Of course I can baby."

Cristiano climbed off Leo's lap and sank down to the floor in between Leo's legs. "Anything for you."

He unzipped Leo's jeans and shoved his hand inside.

"Jesus Christ Cris look I -"

"Force my head down, it's ok. I can take it."

"Cris."

"Come on big boy, shove my face down and I'll show -"

"CRIS! FUCK, ENOUGH!"

Cristiano froze.

"Wh - why?"

" ... I have to pee.”

“You ... you have to pee?”

“Yeah, baby. I’ve been trying to tell you but then you got all,” Leo waved his hands around aimlessly “hot and bothered. What’s wrong with you? Did you take a Viagara?”

Cristiano launched a pillow at this lovers head.

“What the fuck Leo! Why would I take a Viagara!?”

“I don’t know! You’re all keyed up and it’s making me a little uncomfortable.”

"And you think that's because I took a fucking Viagara? I'm 30 Leo, not fucking 80!"

"True, but you don't need to be 80 to take Viagara ..."

And seriously? _Seriously?_ What an asshole.

“I hate you.” Cristiano spat. “I hate you so much. Here I am, trying to be sexy for you, trying to get you turned on and in the mood, but NO! Lionel Messi is too good for my advances. How dare I try and seduce the man I love. Bad Cristiano, BAD!"

"Cris ..."

"No, no. Go and take your piss Leo. Piss all night if you want to, I don't care. I'll just go jerk off with my non-existant viagara you complete piece of shit! Don't worry about me!"

"Cris, listen."

Cristiano turned his back and stormed off towards the stairs.

"Cris, hold on! _Please_."

"What Leo, what!?"

Leo crossed the room quickly and pecked Cristiano on the lips.

"You ..." He let his hands run across the older mans abs and down towards his crotch before rubbing delicatley across his wilting erection. Without warning, he gave Cristiano's cock a hard squeeze causing the Portuguese man to moan wholeheartedly.

"... you forgot your lollipop."

And _fuck this_ Cristiano thought _Fuck this tiny son of a bitch_.

He picked Leo up and threw him over his shoulder.

"Cris! What you are doing?! I said I have to pee!"

"Well then I guess you're peeing on me 'cause I'm getting fucked one way or another ..."

"The fuck?! Cris that's nasty!"

"SO nasty, baby! Oh and so you know ... " Cristiano said, hauling himself and Leo up the stairs. "I am going to eat that lollipop, you wanna know why? Because I've FUCKING EARNED IT, BITCH!"

**Author's Note:**

> *I would like to clarify that Leo DID NOT actually pee on Cristiano. That was just Cristiano being dramatic ... Thanks for reading !!*


End file.
